Wednesday, April 28, 2004

It has been nearly one year since I was transferred to the rehab center. This time last year I was still struggling to sit up on the edge of the bed without falling over. In fact I still had to have help sitting up on the edge of the bed. I was still on the ventilator, terrified that it would fail and not alarm, I still didn't trust my new found ability to take a small breath on my own. I, like one other person has writen on the boards lately, was unable to sleep:

One fear that I had while I was on the ventilator was that it would fail without alarming. I had the trach clog twice while in the ventilator rehab area. I was afraid to sleep during the nights because I feared that I might not wake up, plus the fact that the aides would keep you awake all night with various little things they were doing. Once I got back to the actual rehab hospital was the first time in 10 weeks that I slept 8 hours.

As I said I can identify with this persons experience. One thing I have tried to do with this blog over the past several months is to give caretakers, nurses, and Doctors that might be reading this an idea of what a traumatic experience this is. I also want to let fellow GBS'ers know that they are not alone in what they are feeling and experiencing.

Today I helped my dad clean out the garage, I'm getting better slowly (GBS).


Saturday, April 17, 2004

I find myself with these odd urges to try to do things that I know I can't do, or shouldn't be doing. For example, going down to the basement to do laundry (this means one flight of stairs up and down), mowing the yard, tonight I had the strangest urge to go work in the flower beds in the front yard at 9:30 at night. I have no idea what brings these on, if it's wanting to prove that I can do these things, or if I just fried one too many brain cells while I was oxygen starved during the acute phase of GBS.

I do know that it's getting really annoying though. My parents know I am not up to doing these things and we have gotten into some shouting matches over this.... [Dad] "You have no business going down to the basement to do laundry".... [me] "I am an adult living in your house, and I insist on being responsible for my laundry, and other chores around here. Further more, as I said I am an adult, I will go downstairs if I want to" ... [Dad] "No your not" .... [Me] "I'm not going to argue with you about this, I am just trying to help and pull my own weight" ..... and so on it goes.

I know they're right. There is some of this stuff that I have no business doing, but, I want to prove to myself that, if I needed to, I could care for myself and keep up with my own place (most likely an apartment).

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

All I have wanted to do for the last 12 months is forget what has happened to me. Tonight I find the memories of last April beginning to fade. Why, am I now afraid of what I have wished for, for the last 12 months? This is so confusing....

Monday, April 05, 2004

With Severe weather season upon us I have decided to post another weather link. This one is to NOAA weather radar (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association) for the public good. During a severe weather outbreak, time = saved lives. Besides, where else can you get cool images like this.

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