Thursday, September 25, 2003

I'm tired.... I am so angry about the limitations this has put on me. I am angry that I have to use a cane, I am angry that I can't run around and chase after my two year old nephew, I am angry that I cannot work full time, and most of all I am angry that I can't run away from this problem like I have with all the rest and I don't know what to do about it.....


Sunday, September 21, 2003

Thank God for insurance.... I have figured up the bills for my hospitalization over the last 7 months and if it weren't for having insurance I would be somewhere in the neighborhood of 3.5 million dollars in debt.... whew I knew I was sick but no that sick...

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Working from home.... Thank God, my boss has been more than generous through all this. Although there is more than enough work for me to do "in-house" he understands that I am not able to work full time yet. He has given me some work to do at home, he stated "go ahead and take this home with you and work on it when you feel like it, it's not time sensitive so take your time and write down the time you spend on it so we can be sure and pay you". I am so fortunate....

Friday, September 12, 2003

Bill collectors.... I had the latest battle with idiot bill collectors. This one has billed the wrong insurance company and wants me to pay the bill and correct HER MISTAKE later.

What was my response? "You made the mistake, you fix it!!!" she says "I've been trying to since the beginning of March."

At the beginning of March I was in ICU and on life support, they don't care if I have been unable to take care of my bills because I have been hospitalized in critical condition. Then once improved enough to come off the vent I was still unable to move due the GBS.

So let me see if I understand this correctly, I am paralyzed to the point of being unable to wipe my own nose, but I am supposed to be able to pick up the phone and call her and babysit her through doing her job correrctly. Gee sorry it didn't work out that way!!!

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Midday.... I'm at work today working in the office, it's amazing that i'm able to work now considering all that has happened the last six months. Thats what the doctors tell me anyway.

I took a big blow from the neurologist yesterday, he says my neuropathies may not get any better. That pretty well shoots my truck driving carreer. :(

Sunday, September 07, 2003

Midday..... Well it's midday and I feel pretty good considering my neuropathies woke me at 0530. Neuropathies are messed up nerve impulses that manafest themselves (in my case) extreme burning and tingling, much like when your hand has fallen asleep. Ahhh, GBS the gift that keeps on giving...
Thank you God for giving me another day to praise you!!!

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Luck, all a matter of perspective.... One year ago if you asked me if I would feel lucky to be alive, much less walking today, I would have laughed at you and gotten back up in my truck and gone on down the road to pick up my next load. I probobly would have made some comment like "boy that guy was sure morbid" and thought nothing else of it.
Today I know how lucky I am to be here.

Friday, September 05, 2003

Good news, bad news.... I don't remember anything from february first until about the second week of april. I do remember pretty much the entire month of April, I spent this time flat on my back having a machine breathe for me unable to move anything.
On one hand it's very dis-orienting to have two month's of your life that you don't remember, on the other April was terrible I don't know if I would have wanted to be "awake" for February and March.
Thats how much of this illness is - good news bad news - as a matter of fact thats how much of life is.
This is how GBS works (atleast as I unserstand it).... In GBS your body's immune system attacks your nervous system, the mylon sheath ( the lining that surronds each nerve) is eroded causing nerve damage and therefor causing the messages from the brain to the muscles to get scrambled or in some cases not to get to their destination at all.
I was in an acute care facility (ICU) from early February till early May. I was then transfered to a rehab facility where I underwent intense daily physical and occupational rehab for two months. In late June I was released to go home with my parents and continue my rehab in an outpatient capacity. Thats where today finds me.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

February 1, 2003 my life changed forever. I, as a result of severe pneumonia in both lungs, came down with an autoimmune disease called Gullian Barre syndrome. I was placed on a ventilator and placed into a drug induced coma. I awoke two months later to a whole new world.

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