Sunday, January 25, 2004

I really admire this young lady's spirit. She has her arm taken off by a shark and she goes right back to it. She's not going to let this get her down, she's not going to let this stop her from doing what she wants. Maybe there is hope for Americas youth yet.

Having been through a life changing illness myself, I can attest to the fact that it is really easy to get depressed about it and give up. I have fought the urge to just call it quits many times over the last eleven months. The spirit that makes America what it is reigns though. I will not give up, after all when you fall off the horse isn't the best policy to get right back on and keep on riding?

Friday, January 23, 2004

Wow talk about rehab. I finally took the big leap and joined a health club. I went for my first workout today and did about 20 min. of cardio (stationary bike, treadmill, and recumbant bike) and about 10 min. of weights. I hurt bad.... but I feel good because
1) I did more than I thought I could
2) i went up and worked out in a gym ( this is a BIG step in my recovery)

Yes, I am a light weight but when you consider that less than nine months ago I couldn't even walk, I think I am doing pretty darn good...


Friday, January 16, 2004

I got to play with my nephews today. For the first time in a year I was able to get down on the floor, on their level, and really play with them. We wrestled, I "chased" the oldest one around saying " I'm gonna get you", and he laughed and ran from me. We did stuff we used to do before I got ill with GBS. It was great.

As for my job, and employment status, I have tried to leave this out of my posts, for my anonymity, as well as my former employers. Back around thanksgiving, my former employer put me on a "forced medical leave of absence". Basically they told me that until I could get around like a "normal person", (and that is a direct quote), without braces and a cane, they did not want me at work. The risk that I would fall and get hurt was too large. I let this go for three months, and didn't whine or complain to them about how unfair this was. I stayed in contact with them, checking periodically, to see if they were ready to bring me back into the office.

Earlier this week, I made one of my routine phone calls to them to see if they wanted me back in the office. They told me that they did, and asked me to come over to the office to discuss the terms, and get up to speed again on the job. Right off the bat when they said "terms" I was uncomfortable, but I decided, well I need the money so I'll give it a chance and see what they have to say. I never should have wasted my time, I can't go into all the details for reasons left unsaid but some of the terms are as follows:

$ 7.50 per hour
Part time employee (20 hours per week)
Contract employee
No benefits
I would have to pay my own taxes as a contract employee
I would have to remain in a wheelchair while on the property

The last one is the one that really makes me angry, I am perfectly able to walk around, I don't need a wheelchair. How dare you make that a term of employment.

Oh well like I said above they are my FORMER employer.....

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Days like today... I am sitting here tonight trying to figure out what to say after a day like today. Days like today are when I grow so weary of this disease, and what it has done not only to me, but my whole family.

I went to a trauma support group today, and learned a lot about myself and what GBS has done to me, how it has affected the way I do and see everything. Some might say well... DUH... You went through a horrible critical illness, you woke up after two months in a coma to a different world, one in which (at the time anyway) you could not move, breath on your own, or feed yourself, it was traumatizing. I guess that is the denial part of trauma and grief, I don't want to admit I've changed, I don't want to admit that I am, out of necessity a different person, I pray tonight that God will give me the strength to admit that. I pray that God will give me the courage to find out just exactly who this new Jim is, and most of all I pray that whatever I do with the rest of my days it will be pleasing to him.

That being said, I am so grateful for the love and support of my family. We sometimes have been blind to all the changes that GBS means, but they have been through it all with me.

More later, good night.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

The location and dates of the National GBS symposium have been announced. It will be held in Atlanta, Ga November 19-21 2004. Details and schedule will be announced later. I encourage everyone who can to attend.

Saturday, January 03, 2004

What a wonderful family those of us with GBS are. Everyone from Joseph Heller ( Author of Catch 22 and No Laughing Matter ) to those of us in rural America with common everyday names that no one outside of our circle of friends would recognize. We all come together to support one another, whether it's just a kind word on the phone or computer or maybe it's visiting a new family member in the hospital to encourage them to keep going.

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